Day Seventeen

Today was my worst day yet. Today was the first day since I've started Proton Therapy that I found myself wondering if I could make the walk to the hospital. It's three/four blocks away and yet it may as well be a mile. Three/four weeks ago, three/four blocks was nothing. The only thought that rallies my spirit is that Mr. Dubenschmeimer must be feeling as lousy as I'm feeling.

My friend Eve and her daughter arrive around 12:30P, we go to lunch,...I wish I hadn't eaten. Afterward, she drives me around a bit to see some scenic spots, I really wish I hadn't eaten. She dropped me off at the apartment to rest while she parked her car. By the time she got back it was almost time to go to my 3:50P Proton session. We all walked there, and I felt every step of that walk. We were kept waiting at Proton for almost an hour. I'm thinking they really should provide beds for waiting patients. They call my name, they do their thing, I do mine. It's 5P, and I'm done...so done.

Fortunately, (Eve being the forward thinker she is), has parked her car very close to the Proton Center, so all I have to do is sit on a bench until she pulls the car around...no walking. So glad! She drops me off at the apartment and I slowly make my way upstairs.

I plug into some music and try and transport myself away from the day, but very often this thought keeps popping into my head..."where am I going to find the energy to make it through the rest of these days?"