25 Years

I haven’t written in a few weeks, so many things…so little time in which to do them. I’ve been preparing for the walk for Brain Matters-this means many phone calls, paperwork, meetings, and exercising-all great, but definitely time consuming. Thank you BTW to all of you who have been working with me; I couldn’t be doing it without you. I can’t help thinking how it certainly beats last year when I was deep in the middle of moving from one house to another…so glad I’m not doing that this year. Also, on November 16th, Jon and I celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary, in some ways this went by quickly. What am I nuts? No way did this go by quickly. In some ways 25 years feels like many more years than that-not sure how many more…but more. I was going through some old files a few days ago, and came across something I had written a couple years back. I had written it because so much has happened over the years, that I didn’t want to forget it, I also think of one day writing a book about my experiences and want to make sure I’m able to have these things written down so I don’t forget them. Given this last year and my most recent medical problem and how it effected my memory, I’m glad that I did that. I thought it would be interesting considering the 25th Anniversary Triumph, that I would share a few of the other events that have happened to Jon and I in the last 25 years besides of course the ones that I’ve written about here on the blog, and the birth of our two fantastic kids. It hasn’t been easy to be married this 25 years, some amazing times, some not so amazing, some times I know we both could have done without for obvious reasons, some for not as obvious reasons, but we’re still standing, and we’re still here. I offer these quotes in celebration:

"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret"
-Henny Youngman

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."
-Mignon McLaughlin

"A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year."
-Paul Sweeney

And now for some of those other events that have taken place in the last 25 years. You could probably make this stuff up, but knowing that I didn’t is what makes it all that more unbelievable. Does that make sense?

After our apartment was demolished in 1989 because of the steam-pipe explosion, a crew of workers came into the apartment to clean up the asbestos that littered it. We could not stay in the apartment for 6 months during this cleaning. These workers subsequently stole most of what we were forced to leave. My wedding and engagement ring were left in the apartment (in those days I didn’t wear them when I worked and the apartment was closed off without warning). Six months later after the asbestos clean up was finished and we could re-enter our apartment, we couldn’t find the rings anywhere, we assumed like so many other things, that they too had been stolen. Five years later I was unpacking some things and found a box I hadn’t seen before…my rings were inside. Some honest person must have hidden them there for safekeeping. Amazing!

When I was about 8 months pregnant with Rachel; my credit card company called to tell me that there had been $8000 worth of charges on my card. Did I make them? No! Two weeks later a woman from a local Coach store called to thank me for my $500 purchase. Only one problem, I didn’t make the purchase. Suspecting it may have been our babysitter who made the purchase (not many people had access to my things), I brought a picture of her to the store. Busted! We filed a police report. The police arrested her. At this same time I realized that my wedding ring and engagement ring (the ones that I found in the previous paragraph) were missing; my fingers were swollen and the rings didn’t fit, so I kept them in a drawer. When I couldn’t find them I assumed I had misplaced them. I mentioned it to the police. When they asked our babysitter about the rings, she admitted she had pawned them. The shop still had the rings, and I got them back…again. Magical rings!

When Rachel was 5 and Jamie was 12, our live-in babysitter for five years, named Judith, but Rachel called her Judah, started to feel sick. Two weeks later and still feeling ill, she went to the hospital Emergency Room. She was diagnosed with 4th Stage stomach cancer and died four weeks later. Afterward we discovered a diary that showed that she had paid thousands of dollars of her salary over the preceding year to a woman in Las Vegas who claimed to have a “special” relationship with God and could free her of her ills. I really wish she had said something to us sooner.

A babysitter that Jon and I hired before we hired Judah, worked for us for a month, asked to borrow on her future salary and then afterward said she had a tragedy at home in Barbados; she needed to leave, but she would be back in a month. A month later she hadn’t yet returned, but said she still intended to do so. Around that same time we received a phone bill with $800 worth of charges to 1-800-Psychic. We wondered what sort of psychic advice she was getting before she left us? She never returned. We’ll never not have a 1-800 block on our phone line. Later I found out that this kind of storytelling is not so rare.

And that’s just some of the stories in 25 years…so many more. That’s Life. Here’s to Living!